The Valentine’s Day fight

By February 14, 2019 No Comments

We just had our first fight. 12 days after our wedding, away on our honeymoon at Dubai, Jenny and I raised our voices for the first time at each other. Or, I think I raised my voice and Jenny calmly spoke her words…words that stung painfully.

Here’s what happened.

After our wedding, we flew to Dubai to spend our honeymoon and coincidentally, it fell within February 14, Valentine’s Day so I decided to shop for a nice gift for Jenny. I needed to surprise her.

I finally found the perfect gift for my new bride. A gold necklace that cost me a fortune. Jenny was classy and I was certain she would know how deep I dug into my pocket to pay for this. But when the day came and I presented my perfect gift, Jenny who was excited at first, suddenly went all logical on me. Started talking about how much this must have cost, how we were now married and had responsibilities in front of us, how we would have saved, invested…blah blah…

Frankly, I wasn’t even listening anymore. I just became angry at her ungratefulness and I wasted no time in voicing it. After a few minutes of me ranting like a raving lunatic with my chest feeling like I had a broken heart within, I stomped out of our hotel room and went straight to the bar to get a drink. I needed some calm before I said more things I’d regret.

I took my drink and headed to the poolside. I planned to keep my eyes on the water until the calm from that gorgeous blue liquid seeped into my consciousness.

I sat there sipping on my drink and staring into the water, but something else caught my attention.

An old couple who we had seen every day in the hotel since we came to Dubai sat somewhat close to me in deep conversation. They appeared to be so in love with each other. Seeing them, I tried to imagine what life for decades would look like for Jenny and I. If something so trivial could cause such an issue, how would we survive for 40 plus years together?

In that moment, the calm I needed came. I began to reason rationally and it all began to make perfect sense to me. Jenny never said she didn’t like the gift, she only said it was too expensive because of all the expenses we’ve shouldered so far. She knew how much we had in both our accounts and she must have voiced her opinion from a place of love rather than ungratefulness.

Jenny always thought of tomorrow, which is one of the things that attracted me to her. I remember when she advised me to start making Additional Voluntary Contributions to my retirement savings and I thought she was being ridiculous. I admired that she wanted me to start planning for my future, but I told her an additional contribution wasn’t necessary because my current deductions would do.

She always had a plan and here I was, forgetting that for the fact that we’re now married, she’ll be thinking of not just her future, but ours now. And I berated her for it. I felt ashamed of myself.

I glanced at the old couple, soaked in the love and peace they enjoyed together and also the abandon they both exuded and without thinking, I walked up to them to make introductions.

They had been married for 49 years, retired and been on a lifelong honeymoon according to them. I, of course, asked who is funding the lifelong honeymoon, and their response sent me racing back to apologize to my lovely wife Jenny.

The old couple Mr.and Mrs Ojo revealed that the secret to the life they now both enjoy is their pension pot which consisted of the usual remissions made by their company plus a little something extra saved aside.

On my knees, looking apologetically into Jenny’s eyes, I recanted my words and begged for forgiveness. This woman wanted to make sure we lived comfortably through life even until old age and I’ll be damned if I took her suggestions for granted again.

When we get back to Nigeria, I’ll speak with the HR of my company about the Additional Contribution stuff. The honeymoon, Jenny and the old couple have indeed given me some food for thought.


Plan to live your best life with the love of your life when tomorrow comes. Start making Additional Voluntary Contributions to your RSA today. Learn more at